saved
by Lilli89
Summary: As a single parent, Jay has to deal with raising his 9 year old son and working for Intelligence…
1. Chapter 1

I hope you enjoy my latest story!

Please note: I'm not from the US, so feel free to correct me if I'm making any mistakes.

In this story, Jay has a 9 year old son who he raised on his own, after his ex wife Abby wasn't able to take care for him.

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"Hank, we got a call from Melson School. Shots had been fired inside the building, "Trudy Platt disturbed the upcoming briefing.

The whole team looked at Jay in disbelief.

Halstead, who just wanted to represent the upcoming case couldn't believe what came to his ears.

He knew what this meant. His son attended this school. His 9 year old was sitting somewhere, fearing for his life!

Halstead stared at Voight in shock , before he started to move.

"Damn it, Ben."

Voight wasn't able to respond. Jay was already on his way to leave the office, when he started to shout at him.

"Halstead, you stay here. You don't set a foot in this building, do you hear me?, "Hank warned, but it was already too late. Jay already reached the stairs.

"This is my son. I've got to go ", he screamed in fear, when Voight wanted to block bis way.

"Jay, come on. Listen to me."

But Halstead already got a rid of him.

"Get out of my way. You would have done the same with Justin. "

The next moment Halstead stormed outside to load his weapons and put on his bulletproofed west.

Voight, who stood next to Halstead, shook his head, a serious glance on his face. It didn't need further words. He knew that he couldn't stop him from saving his kid.

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Just 5 minutes later they were on their way. Platt already requested SWAT, but it took too long to get them in time, so they decided to send intelligence in.

For tactical reasons, they formed two teams. Jay and Hailey dared to access the back yard of the school. Adam, Kim and the rest of the police went through the main entrance.

Shots rang out from the inside.

It was a nightmare scenario. Jay still hoped that he would wake up at any moment, but nothing happened. Thanks to his experience, it was clear that every wrong decision had serious consequences.

Together with Hailey, he ran through the school's basement, clearing room by room.

The way became a nightmare, when they had to climb over dead bodies.

Jay looked at the dead kids in disbelief. Like Hailey he barely could deal with the things he saw.

They couldn't rest for long. Suddenly more shots came from the upper floor.

That's when they escaped into another classroom.

"Clear," Jay heard his partner scream, before she gestured to move to the upper floor.

Finally Halstead approached the all-important door which he identified as the classroom of his son. Most of the students had already left the building or hid. But Ben hadn't been found yet.

"We have visual on the target. Access in one minute, " Adam announced over the radio.

When Halstead and Upton paused in front of the door, they looked deeply into each other's eyes. The bullet holes in the wall gave them goosebumps.

They counted to three, then rushed into the room.

To their dismay, there was nothing.

Instead of kids hiding under their chairs, they stared at an empty classroom. Jay started to shake.

Where in hell was his son?

Then, next to a curtain, he recognized a bookshelf and finally spotted a shadow.

"Hailey," he whispered to his colleague, pointing at the furniture.

Jay heard a small whimper before holding his gun towards the shelf, anxiously taking a look behind it.

For a moment Jay felt like his heart stopped, until he looked into a familiar face, who glanced at him with wide eyes. Ben and his best friend stared at him in shock. Their faces seemed as white as the walls.

A loud bang from the top floor interrupted the silence, before someone reported the upcoming news.

"Target neutralized," Adam informed.

Jay took a deep breath, then focused on the children.

"All right. It's gonna be okay."

"Daddy", Ben cried, clinging to his father, but there was no time for comfort. Jay grabbed his son while Hailey did the same with Bens friend.

"Close your eyes. You're save now", Jay whispered to avoid further trauma.

"We will get you out of here."

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"Will? How's he doing?"

Jay and Ben went to chicago med on the same day. Since his brother worked at med as a doctor, they could avoid long waiting times.

In addition to his shock, the 9-year-old suffered from a minor injury.

Will, who was just stepping out of the exam room, shook his head.

"Everything is fine. Just a graze shot. "

Jay, who had to wait in front of the room, sighed in relief.

"We have treated the wound on his arm and it's stable so far. I'll give you pain killers, just in case. Ben is still in shock. "

"What do you think? Is he gonna be okay? "

Will shrugged helplessly.

"You should stay at home with him for a couple of days. I think he needs you now. Just try to be there for him. "

Jay nodded understandingly.

After helping Ben to get dressed, they drove back home.

The little boy didn't say a word. When they reached the apartment, he immediately went to his room to play quietly in the corner with Lego bricks.

Jay watched him in concern.

Just as he wanted to check on him again, the doorbell rang. He opened in surprise and stared straight into Hailey's face.

They were in a relaxed relationship, but tried to separate business and private life. Out of respect for Ben, they alternated between the two apartments and hadn't moved in together yet.

"How's Ben, doing?" Hailey asked in concern.

Jay shrugged his shoulders.

"He's been sitting in his room for two hours, building with his bricks. Don't know if that's a good sign. "

Hailey nodded in understandment, then pulled out a small box from behind her back.

"Here, maybe that will change his mind a bit," she pointed to the Lego plane she'd bought. Jay smiled sadly.

"Thank you. I'm sure Ben will like it. Do you want to come in? "

But she shook her head.

"No. Voight wants us to cover someone, you know?, "she rolled her eyes, before she continued speaking.

"So if anything is there, I'm there for you. At any time."

She was about to leave when Jay grabbed her hand. She looked at him in amazement as he got closer and shortly afterwards they sank in a long kiss.

"Thank you," he whispered flatly, which she reflected with an understanding look.

"That was my personal nightmare today. I thought he was dead like the other children. "

Hailey said nothing, just pulled Jay into a short hug instead.

Only a soft call from the upper floor interrupted the situation.

"Dad? Where are you?"

Jay groaned.

"I have to go. Gonna call you later, alright?"

Hailey smiled at him, before he closed the door.

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Jay leaned in the doorway and watched his son play.

Concentrated, the 9 year old put the stones together. His aim was to develop a castle.

Halstead was amazed how quick Ben managed to build with one hand despite his arm injury.

"Can I join you?", Halstead asked after some time, which Ben confirmed with a quick nod.

For a short moment, Jay thought about the time, when he had last gotten to play with hiss on.

Normally the job left little room and the week was strictly organized.

Father and son worked concentrated on the fortress until Jay interrupted the silence.

"Listen, big guy. You know, you can talk to me at any time, right?"

Ben paused, looking at the stones in tension. He didn't look Jay in the eye.

"If you're not able to talk about what happened today, that's okay. The important thing ist hat you know I'm here. And very happy you're alive."

Jays voice became quiet at the end of the sentence. He sadly glanced at Ben, who was also struggling with tears.

"Are the other children in heaven now?"

Halstead wiped his eyes. The question hit him hard.

"If there is such a thing like this. I'm sure they are."

Ben looked at his father for this time, then he crawled into his arms. Jay squeezed him tightly, inhaling the scent of his shampoo. Even if the responsibility fort he 9 year old sometimes drove him crazy. Never was he more happy to be able to hug his boy. Silently some tears ran from his eyes.

"I was so scared", the little boy confessed to him, which Jay confirmed with a nod.

"I know, big boy. Me too."

Halstead kissed his forehead and enjoyed the moment, before Ben tightened the grib and looked at him.

Carefully Jay wiped the tears from his cheek.

"Can I sleep at your bed tonight? So you can protect me?"

Jay gave him an encouraging smile.

"And can you put your gun under your pillow?"

"Hey", Jay run his hand through Bens hair.

"There's no need to be afraid. The man who did this is dead. And nobody else comes in here."

Ben crawled into Jays arms again, clinging on his father.

In this moment, Jay realized that it was a long way to rebuild the trust…


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for your reviews :) It means the world to me.

Regarding the question, who is Bens mom: It's Abby, but she won't play any role in the story. She wasn't able to care for her son, so Jay did.

I hope you will like the upcoming chapter :) Feel free to criticise.

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That night Ben fell asleep in his father's arms.

While the little one had already come to rest, Jay followed his thoughts for a long time. He still proceeded of what had happened.

He had always wanted to protect his boy from such incidents. The shock that he almost lost Ben was correspondingly deep.

At some point, when Jay himself was already drifting into a twilight state, his phone started vibrating. Drowsy, he reached for the device to find that it was only a little after 10 p.m. Last time he went to bed this early must have been years ago. To his surprise, the text came from Hailey.

"I'll come back in ten minutes. Need the files from your trunk. Hailey."

Jay sighed before he put his smartphone back on the nightstand. In all the panic, he had forgotten to give Hailey the documents for the upcoming case, which he had taken home the day before. Carefully Jay put the blanket aside.

A gesture that left his son whimpering softly, who obviously didn't want his father to leave.

"Shhh. . . go back to sleep. It's alright"; Jay spoke softly to the 9-year-old before covering Ben once more, putting his gun in the safe and then sneaking out of the room

Tiredly, he switched on the light in the hallway. Jay paused once more to make sure Ben was still sleeping. When it remained silent, he ran into the living room. Actually he didn't feel like receiving Hailey at this time, but his hands were tied, because she needed the files to research the case at hand.

He went outside to the car. Only shortly after he took the documents from the trunk, she parked next to him. She got out, greeted him with a smile.

"Sorry again, but I'm gonna have to work through the crime scene by tomorrow." Jay handed her the files, then looked up at the apartment building.

"Now that I'm still awake anyway. Sure you don't want to come in for a drink after all that? ; Halstead asked, looking her in the eyes for a long moment. Hailey pushed around at first but in the end she couldn't say no and finally gave in. Jay let her into his apartment, then took a quick look into the bedroom to make sure Ben was still sleeping before returning to the living area.

"Is he asleep?"

"Yes, but he insisted that he could spend the night at my bedroom. He's pretty messed up."

"No wonder, after all he had been through. By the way, Voight told us to tell you to take all the time in the world. He was quite understanding."

Jay shook his head in disbelief.

"It's crazy. I mean, they were just kids. You send them to school, think they are in a safe place and then something like this happens. And the politicians and the gun bosses just carry on as if nothing had happened."

"I haven't figured it out either."

"I always see the parents in front of me who find out that their child is not coming home anymore. Oscar Dale was in Ben's class. The shooter hit him just from behind."

"Have you ever thought about signing Ben up for therapy or having him talk to a psychologist?"; Hailey asked quietly.

Jay sighed heavily as he told Hailey to come to the sitting area because he wanted to pour her a glass of Scotch.

"Frankly, I'm glad if he talks at all. He's pretty withdrawn and very quiet. I wanted to give it a couple of days and if nothing changes then ask Will for an appointment with Dr. Charles. I've only heard good things about him."

"I don't know about Ben, but everyday things helped me back then. Baking cookies with my mom or helping her out."

Suspiciously Jay put his glass on the table. He looked at her questioningly. The blonde police woman understood immediately.

"Didn't I ever tell you about this?"

"No."

Jay shook his head.

"My dad had a restaurant. When I was 12, we got mugged there. The killer broke my father's eye socket, so he had been stitched with 96 stitches. The offender put a gun to my head and stole the night receipts, and just all for $272. 57."

Jay looked at Hailey in shock.

For a long moment his mouth remained open.

"I didn't know."

She made a wry grimace to cover her emotions, raised and lowered her shoulders. She couldn't get any more than that anyway, because they heard footsteps, paired with a restless whimper. Reflexively, Jay and Hailey looked in the direction from which the noises had come and saw none other than Ben, clutching his teddy bear and looking unhappily at his father.

"Daddy, you weren't there anymore,"; the 9 year old whined, which is why Jay stretched out his arms.

"Hey, come here, buddy."

Uncertainly Ben approached, looking interested at Hailey. Jay took him on his lap where he snuggled up against his father.

"Look who's here,"; he made a suggestive head movement in Hailey's direction, smiling at the boy.

"Hailey brought you something. We're gonna play with it tomorrow."

Jay handed his son the Lego set that he had put on the couch. When Ben got his hands on the box, he grinned broadly, but quickly became serious again.

"Will you really stay with me then?"; the little boy glanced at his father in excitement.

Halstead looked compassionately at his son, ran his hand through his hair.

"Well, sure. I've promised."

He looked at the toy, smiled sadly.

"Thank you,";Ben peeped softly

Silently Hailey reached for a blanket, which she laid over the two of them. She smiled when she realized how Ben leaned against his father, seeking for protection.

"I think I'd better go now. Your little one needs you now,"; Hailey wanted to get up. To their surprise, Ben was the one who saw things differently and took her hand.

"Can't you stay a little longer? Two cops can protect me better then one, right?"

Jay, who had to smile at the words of his boy, looked at Hailey in a meaningful way. Ben had reached out his little hand to her, held her tight.

"Sure. If that's what you want,"; she whispered softly. The 9 year old turned his face towards his dad's chest. Thoughtfully, Hailey watched as Jay stroked his son constantly across his forehead until the little one fell asleep. Concerned, Halstead looked at his girlfriend, who reflected his face expression.

"I don't know if I could have survived if something happened to him there", he said with a shaking voice.

"Hey", she whispered.

Hailey stood up, sat down next to him and Ben, who was still lying in his arms.

"Jay, don't do this to yourself. Stop beating yourself up. We did everything we could to get the kids out in time."

He tried to smile despite his tears. Hailey grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Back when Ben was little, I never thought I'd ever fit in as a father. I was completely overwhelmed, I even thought about giving him to Abbys aunt. An now it makes me sick to think what it would be like if he was gone."

Hailey leaned against Jay's shoulder. Sadly, she looked at the little boy who had snuggled up against Jay's chest.

"He'll get over it. But that takes time, and most of all it takes you. "

Jay knew what she was thinking. Thoughtfully, his gaze drifted to the window before he gave Hailey a long kiss. . .


	3. Chapter 3

"Look what I got from Aunt Trudy. Wax crayons in cool colours. Here we got pink, blue, green, yellow and red,"; Ruzek enumerated when he supplied Ben with paper and painting materials at the station. The little boy sat in the break room and passed the time while his father handed over the case files to Voight.

"How's he doing? How's he handling it?"; Hank wanted to know from Jay, while Hailey and Kim were sitting at their desks and followed the conversation. Halstead, looking anxiously at his son who had begun painting with Adam, shrugged his shoulders thoughtfully.

"It's like he's regressing. He can no longer sleep alone and cries at night."

Hank moved his head forward with a sigh.

"It takes time. Children are more resilient than we think. And you know if anything goes wrong, you can count on us."

Gratefully Jay looked at his boss, who looked at him meaningful and then ran into the next room where Adam was sitting with Ben.

"Hey, look who's here."

When Ben saw Hank Voight, he turned his face into a smile. He liked his father's boss. With him he could play cowboys and Indians at best.

"Are you having a good time here?"; Hank went slightly to his knees while Ben confirmed his question with a nod.

"Is Daddy really staying with me this week?"

"Yes,until the weekend. But at some point you gotta be a big boy again and go back to school."

Ben started to look sadly.

"Hey, I know this is hard. But you are strong. You're not gonna let this bad guy run your life and ruin the place you always loved."

"But one of my friends is no longer there. And he's not coming back, is he?"; Hank Voight looked thoughtfully at the Ben, finally shook his head.

"No, I don't think so."

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a cop, too, and then I'm gonna take all the guns and break them so nobody else can get hurt." Hank said nothing. He just gave Ben a sad smile, took him in his arms for a moment, before pointing to the next room.

"Would you like to come into my office? I got some real strong cowboys. These are from my son when he was as big as you are now." Ben busily nodded his head. Voight explained to Adam where he would found the kit that included the figures before they walked into Hank's office. With a serious face, Voight stepped back to the rest of his colleagues.

"Jay, I need you here for a brief team meeting. Then you go home with Ben. I got a call from the gang unit earlier. The guys found a stabbed man in a cemetery. Freshly buried."

"In a cemetery?"; Halstead asked in disbelief and received a concerned look from his boss...

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"Daddy? Where's Hailey?" Jay looked at his son in surprise. Actually, he was about to put Ben to bed, but the little one didn't feel like sleeping.

"At home. Why do you ask?"

"Can't you call her to come over?"; Jay sat down on the edge of his double bed.

"Hey, big guy. I thought we were doing just fine on our own. "

"Why? Don't you like her anymore?"; Jay pulled up his eyebrows, slowly dealing with Bens words.

"Yes, of course. But I thought, this is our day. "

Ben shrugged his shoulders.

"When she's around, I just feel so much safer. Because you two are cops. " Jay sighed, looking pityingly at the younger one.

"Can't we just call her? Please,"; the 9 year old begged his father, which made Jay sigh clumsily. Actually, he didn't want to bother Hailey with it. Especially since the unplanned contact made it look as if he was not able to take care of his son.

"Tomorrow, okay?"; Jay tried to convince his boy, who obviously didn't like the idea.

"Okay, all right. Let's call her. But we don't ask if she can come over. " Questioningly, Ben looked at his father.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want her to worry unnecessarily. "

"Why doesn't she finally move in with us?"; Stunned by the question of his son, Jay struggled for words.

"Then I would finally have a mommy, too. Like the rest of my friends. "

"We'll talk about this again tomorrow, okay?"; Ben made a wry grimace, but then nodded his head. Jay pulled out his smartphone. . .

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In spite of all attempts Jay had not succeeded in preventing Hailey from visiting. Ben had cleverly persuaded his father's girlfriend to come and see them that same evening after all. Under the pretext of a bedtime story, the little boy managed to attract her at short notice. In the end, Ben had fallen asleep next to the blonde policewoman in no time.

Hailey put the children's book on the nightstand. Quietly, the adults sneaked out of the living room, but left the door open.

"This wasn't my idea, by the way. So, before you jump to any wrong conclusions." Hailey smiled as Jay poured her a glass of scotch.

"He's like you"

"Oh, yeah? Sometimes I'm not so sure. By the way, he asked me why we're not moving in together. "

"And what did you answer?";

"I didn't go into it. "

"Children are never shy about telling the truth, right?" They looked at each other in love.

Slowly his lips approached hers before they merged. Since they obviously thought the same, the subject was covered over.

"By the way, I want to take Ben back to his school for the first time tomorrow. The headmaster has built up a memorial place erected in front of the building. Let's see how he takes it. " For a moment the two of them got serious again.

"They're not gonna send those kids back to school right away, are they?"

Jay shook his head in denial.

"Not right away. The idea is that they will move into the old building on Hamilton Road. But I think it'll take another week or two. "

"What are you gonna do with Ben in the meantime?"; Hailey pronounced what had been painfully bothering Jay for several hours.

"Honestly, I have no idea yet. Voight understood, but I can't stay home forever. On the other hand, he hardly ever talks about what happened. "

"Do you think he saw his dead friends?"; Hailey's voice became quieter and quieter at the end of the sentence. Jay struggled with the tears, too.

"He talks in his sleep sometimes, and from what he tells me, I assume. " They looked at each other for a long moment, then Hailey crawled into his arms without warning, holding him tightly. Jay enjoyed the gesture, hiding the head on her chest.

"I'm so sorry,"; she whispered softly. That's when he gave in.

Jay cried silently as she slipped steadily across his back. Suddenly the fear for his son was present again. She didn't need to look at him. She could sense too well how he really was. After she had held him for a while, she relaxed the hug while they looked each other sadly.

"Ben said something earlier that I can't get out of my head. He wants a mom just like you. " A little shocked Hailey stared at her boyfriend, separated from him for a moment.

"For real?"

"Yes, perhaps we should consider his proposal after all. I mean, why are we making such a big deal about this?"; Hailey came closer and looked mysteriously at Jay while her hands slipped under his shirt and they sank again in a long kiss. Carefully, Halstead did the same for her and helped her take off her shirt. He was about to open her trousers, was already dressed without a T-shirt himself, while her attempts at affection became increasingly intense.

Shortly before they reached the climax, they heard a soft whimpering from the direction of the children's room, which became increasingly louder.

Jay was the first to go up, closing his eyes in resignation.

"Oh, no, Ben. " Immediately they paused, listening for another moment when the sound repeated itself.

"Sorry,"; Jay apologised before the two of them moaned and parted ways. A little annoyed Jay slipped on his pants and shirt before he ran barefoot into his bedroom. Wide awake, the 9 year old sat upright on the mattress and sobbed softly. Jay switched on the bedside lamp, sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Ben into a comforting embrace.

"Shhh. . . Everything's fine. I'm here. I'm here. I'm right here.

The little one clung tightly to him and cried on his chest. Hailey, who had also quickly slipped back into her trousers, bra and sweater, ran anxiously into the next room where Jay was busy comforting his son. She looked at father and son with a serious expression on her face, then approached without shyness and took a seat next to Jay.

Halstead looked at his girlfriend helplessly. Although he held Ben firmly in his arms, the little one could hardly calm down. Carefully, Hailey reached out her hand and stroked the boy's forehead constantly, whereupon she watched him from tearful eyes. She began to talk to him in a subdued voice.

"Hey, did you have a bad dream?"; Ben nodded his head.

"The bad man came and shot me. " Jay glanced at his girlfriend with a hurt look, which is why Hailey continued to stroke the boy's forehead.

"That was just a nightmare. We're here to take care of you. " To calm him down, she began to sing a quiet melody until he closed his eyes in Jay's arms and drifted slowly into a deep sleep on his father's shoulder. . .


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you, folks. I was so happy to read all of your comments.

I hope you will enjoy the new chapter!

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"Thank you,"; Jay whispered as he lay two hours later next to his sleeping son and Hailey.

Upton sat up slightly and gently touched Bens cheek with the back of her hand while she worriedly looked at the boy.

"He would need a mother to take care of him,"; Halstead looked thoughtfully at his son, who was holding his teddy bear.

"I can't offer him that."

For a moment there was an oppressive silence before Jay gathered all his courage and asked the all deciding question. It's now or never.

"Hailey, how would you feel about actually moving in with us temporarily? It would be good for Ben and we could try out how it works?"

Hailey paused abruptly, eyeballing her boyfriend with an uncertain look.

"Are you serious?"

Jay nodded.

"Wow, that's pretty sudden. Are you sure that's a good idea? Especially now when the little one needs stability and needs you most?"

"To be honest, I'd really like you to support me in the days ahead. It would also be important for Ben to have someone else to be there for him besides me."

Hailey nodded in affect, but then let out a soft sigh.

" You know, if at some point things don't work out between us, it would be another failure for him." Halstead pushed around, gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Well, I had actually assumed that we were in love,"; he joked, which she commented with a sad smile. She moved closer to him, gave him a long kiss.

"Can I take that as a yes now?"; he didn't let up, so she pinched his cheek in a funny way.

"Weirdo", she he whispered softly before smiling meaningful, giving him a long kiss. . .

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The next day Hailey drove to work. Jay, who had the much heavier part that morning, woke up his son so that they could set off together for the memorial site. Nobody said a word in the car. Two streets in front of the school, Ben suddenly grabbed his father's right hand. Jay acted accordingly and turned off at the next street corner to stop in one of the parking lots. He turned off the engine, looked at his son with a serious expression."

"What's up, big guy? There's something wrong with you." Ben pushed around, didn't look Jay in the eyes once, then he came out with the truth in a shaky voice.

"I don't want to go there. I'm scared."

Fearfully Ben looked at his father.

"Hey", Jay looked at him sympathetically.

"I'm with you. All the time. Nothing can happen to you and the other kids." But he shook his head.

"It's not just that. I don't want to cry in front of the others." Sensitively Jay squeezed the hand of his son.

"Ben, when something like this happens, it's perfectly okay to show emotion and cry. Oscar was one of your friends."

The 9 year old nodded silently.

"I know it's hard and you don't want to go back there, but sometimes it's important to face your fears and put the bad things behind you."

"Have you ever done this before?"; Jay nodded sadly.

"Oh, yeah."

"Did you have to cry too?"; Halstead moved his head forward again.

"Come on, big guy. Two are stronger than one alone,"; Jay reached for Ben's hand again. Reluctantly, the boy looked at his father before he unbuckled himself melancholy and then stepped outside.

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"And? How did it go?"

"It worked, but he cried a lot,"; Jay pointed towards the back seat where Ben had fallen asleep from exhaustion. They had picked up Hailey directly from the guard and were on their way to her home where she wanted to pick up some more things.

"I'm glad we got that over with." Hailey nodded at him, looked out the window lost in thought, and wrapped one of her blonde strands of hair around her finger.

"This was important for him to be able to work through this. I think so, too. Besides. . ."

Halstead couldn't finish his words. Hailey tapped him from the side.

"Jay, hold on a second. You see that?"; she pointed continuously outside, where the two of them were staring directly at a small boy of about 5 years of age, who was walking lonely and alone and rather lost on the street. Those two knew too well what that meant. Someone had neglected his duty of supervision and since this could quickly become dangerous for a small child in Chicago, they immediately took action. Halstead parked the car at the side of the road, then they got out. Jay locked the car so Ben was safe. Together they walked towards the helpless looking child. In order for the little one to gain confidence, Hailey went down slightly.

"Hey, sweetheart. How did you get here? Where are your parents?"; Restlessly he pointed inside towards a house, bobbing nervously up and down.

"Do you live there? Is this where your mommy and daddy are?"; Jay wanted to know, but did not get a conclusive answer. Especially since the boy seemed visibly worried. Instead of an answer, the little one snapped at Jay's hand and ran with him in the direction of a garage entrance. Halstead looked at Hailey in a meaningful way. Halfway through the race, he held the boy back. Something was not right at all, because the little one looked in panic at the locked door of the house.

"Okay, buddy. You and I are gonna go out to the car and while Jay looks after your mommy and daddy, you tell me a little bit about who you are, okay?"

Meaningly, Hailey looked at Jay once more before she took the boy by the hand and ran with him to the car to call for reinforcements. In the meantime, Jay passed on the most important information to Voight. He pulled out his gun. Tense, he moved to the garage, which was open to his amazement. The lower floor was darkened. Nervously he drove his pistol through the nearby surroundings. Then, shortly after entering the living room, he looked in shock at two bodies lying on the floor, visibly shattered. His eyes froze as he realized that the boy must have seen everything. He tried to feel the pulse once more, but it did not succeed.

"This is 5021 George. We need reinforcements. Two dead after GSW's." He had just made the necessary report over the radio when a tremendous force threw him to the ground and a terrible burning sensation filled his chest. Soon after, everything went black. . .


	5. Chapter 5

"Jay! Jay, can you hear me?"; Halstead heard a familiar voice,but who was shouting? Slowly he opened his eyes, then stared directly into the familiar face of his brother. What the hell happened? Next to him, no one less than Hailey came to light. Apparently she was sitting at his bedside holding his hand. By his bed? It took Jay a moment to realize what it was all about, then he looked around in bewilderment and wanted to stand up, but the pain in his shoulder made him moan.

"Slowly,"; Will told him, who looked no less worried.

"You've been shot. Dr. Marcell removed the bullet. Is the pain very intense?";, Hailey said, when he started to worry.

"Where's Ben?"; Jay breathed on his girlfriend, who pointed outside.

"Adam is sitting with him in the waiting area. Don't worry about it,"; Will promised.

"You have to get back on your own feet first."

Dazed, Jay looked over. The injury on the shoulder hurt terribly.

"When can I get out of here?"; was the first thing he asked, but Hailey and Will shook their heads at the same time.

" You're staying here for the next few days."

Jay moaned while Hailey kept stroking the back of his hand.

"Do you know any more details about the offender?"

"Shhh. . . cowboy. Don't talk so much,"; Hailey whispered as Will injected one of the drugs into the access.

"I hate needles,"; Halstead whined as he watched his eyelids grow heavier.

"Ben, you have to take care of him,"; whispered Jay in a weak voice.

"Don't worry. Adam and Kim are just there for him,"; was the last thing Jay understood before sleep overcame him. . .

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"Daddy, are you gonna die?"; frightened, Ben sat one day later at the edge of his father's bed. Jay was still at Chicago med. In contrast to the previous day, however, he was on the road to recovery.

"Hey, big guy.. I'll be back to my old self soon,"; Halstead winked at the younger one before he glanced at Hailey, who Ben had driven to the hospital.

"Thanks for taking him in. " Hailey sighed, raised and lowered his shoulders.

"Well, listen. Now that you're lying here and you're so damaged, I have no choice but to take care of you. " Jay smiled mischievously. In that respect, a shoulder shot like that had something good to it.

"Fun on the side. Don't worry about it. You've done a good job,"; she pointed to Ben, who looked at his father innocently.

"You have a great son,"; she whispered softly and then looked at Ben amused, before she rummaged through her bag and pulled out a rolled up picture, which she gave to the little one.

"Look, I drew this for you,"; Ben passed the drawing to his father, who smiled gratefully at him and looked at the picture showing three people in front of a house and a car.

"Is that us?"; The little one nodded assiduously.

"That's you, that's Hailey and that's me,"; he tapped on the figures before he lay tiredly with his head on the blanket, because he was obviously looking for his father's closeness. Sighing, Jay put the child's drawing aside, then lovingly drove through his little one's hair. He was aware that he had not chosen the best timing for his injury. Right now Ben would need him more than ever. Especially since the incident increasingly increased fears about his father.

"Can I stay with you today? Please!"; Ben begged quietly, which Jay repulsed with a demonstrative shake of his head.

"No, big guy. That won't work. Uncle Will won't go for it. " Halstead looked at his son in whose eyes tears had gathered.

"Hey, your daddy's getting discharged soon and coming home,"; Hailey tried to reassure him, which only made the situation slightly better.

"In the meantime, we'll build a little more of your knight's castle. I need this to be ready by the time Jay gets out. " But Ben just shook his head defensively, buried his face on his father's chest. The adults looked at each other vividly.

"Big boy, I promise you, when I get out of here, we'll do something really great together.

Frightened, Ben looked up at his father. Since Jay's stay in hospital the clinging behaviour had increased even more. Within the last week the little boy had experienced almost all existential things a child feared. The situation was interrupted by Will, who stepped into the room and looked at his nephew and the two policemen in amazement.

"Well, young man, what's the matter with you?"; the doctor wanted to know, but initially received no answer.

"I want to stay with Daddy, but I can't,"; it came crying. Even Will, who was normally hard on the stomach, was not able to stand the sight of it.

"But with Hailey, you liked it, didn't you?"; Ben shrugged his shoulders.

"But I'm afraid Daddy's gonna die. "

"How's your arm?"; Will wanted to know about Ben and looked at Jay for a long time. The little one wiped the tears from his face, shrugged his shoulders.

"Let me see. "

Suspiciously Ben turned to his uncle, then raised his hand up so he could see the place. Will looked at Jay again and Hailey then nodded theatrically.

"We should monitor this here again. I'll tell April to bring an extra bed in here. " Ben smiled at his uncle despite his tears.

"Does this mean I can sleep in Daddys room tonight?";

"One night. But not an hour more. " The adults grinned at Will. "I'll be back for Ben in the morning,"; Hailey winked at her boyfriend before she looked amused at Will. . .

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"Jay, you're behaving like a baby,"; Hailey teased her boyfriend, which Ben, who was playing in the hallway and looking towards the bedroom, acknowledged with a loud laugh.

In the meantime, Halstead had been released. Upton had moved in with them and took care of them as best he could. She did the shopping, took over the household and helped Jay to get dressed, because he was still slightly restricted with his arm sling. And so was this evening.

"Damn it, I hate this thing. It'll take me 10 minutes to get on and off. "

"Yes, because you always make a fuss instead of getting help,"; Hailey tried to get him to put on the T-shirt, which only worked to a limited extent because Jay was fidgeting all over his body. Eventually they both ended up on the bed. Ben, who had meanwhile entered the room, giggled amusedly. "

You guys are funny. " Nothing more happened, because the situation was interrupted by a loud bang. Frightened, Ben started shaking, staring as if frozen in the direction of the window, before movement entered his body. When Jay and Hailey looked spellbound at the window, he had already run out of the bedroom.

"Damn it, who's doing fireworks at this hour,"; Halstead hissed, while Hailey had already grasped the gravity of the situation and followed the boy into the next room. Alarmed by his reaction she had followed him to check on him.

"Jay? Jay!";, Hailey suddenly screamed, causing Halstead, who was still topless, to dash into the hall. His girlfriend seemed visibly excited and knelt beside the dresser. He sensed immediately that something was wrong...


	6. Chapter 6

"Jay? Jay!"; Hailey suddenly screamed, causing Halstead, who was still topless, to dash into the neighborhood room. His girlfriend seemed visibly excited and knelt beside the dresser. He sensed immediately that something was wrong. Halstead ran frantically to the spot where Hailey was kneeling on the floor.

Within seconds Jay understood what the reason for this was. Ben cowered against the wall on the ground and had his bent legs pulled tightly against his body, his head resting on the crossed arms. He was shaking violently, which gave Jay goose bumps.

"Hey, big guy. What's the matter with you?"

But Ben didn't respond. He seemed completely absent, didn't look up. Outside there was a banging at irregular intervals.

"The fireworks,"; Hailey stammered in a low voice and looked at her friend and colleague in shock.

"He's back in the situation. He thinks the killer will come back. "

"Ben? Ben, hey look at me. Ben,"; Jay said to his son. When he started to hold him lightly in his arms, the little one began to beat around him.

Halstead intercepted his punches.

"Shhh. . . it's okay. It's okay. Everything's fine. You're home. You're absolutely safe here,"

Hailey spoke in a sensitive tone to the 9 year old and, together with Jay, caught his kicks until Ben finally gave in and was hanging limply and quietly crying on Jay's arms. Halstead, who himself was once plagued by flashbacks, could guess what the little one was going through. Hailey put his hands on his shoulders from behind so that Ben managed to break through the memories.

"It's just fireworks. No one can hurt you here,"; she whispered to him as he cried softly at his father's breast. In the meantime the banging noises of the rockets had ceased.

"Ben? Ben, look at me"; Jay urged after a while, feeling his hands on his son's cheeks so that he was forced to look him in the eyes.

"It's over. It was just the neighbors next door. " With the back of his hand, Halstead stroked the desperate boy's cheek to calm him down. Totally disturbed, Ben looked at his father and his stepmother alternately, while he slowly realized what had just happened.

"It's like Tuesday. After the break,"; he whimpered and struggled for words. He sobbed softly. Jay reached for his hand.

"Big boy, we're here. What did you see before we took you and Tim out of the room?"; Ben shook his head. When Hailey and Jay were already no longer expecting him to speak, he continued haltingly.

"The bell had just rung, but Mrs. Sunders was not back yet. Suddenly there was an insanely loud bang in the hallway and the others started screaming. We all got mixed up. Suddenly the door opened and he came in. He was masked and had the same weapon as you,"; Ben told his father.

"Shortly afterwards, he ran out again and fired. I heard Oscar screaming. After the men left, the others ran outside too. Only Timmy and I hid because we realized what he did to Oscar. " Jay looked at Hailey with emotion, embraced Ben in his arms again. "Oscar was screaming for help the whole time, There was no one there to help us. And there was nothing we could do. "

"Ben, this is not your fault. You're just kids. There was nothing you could have done,"; Hailey tried to reject the accusations, but Ben just hid his face on Jay's shoulder and looked sad.

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"Mrs. Sullivan next door apologized. I'll talk to Dr. Charles again tomorrow. You're probably right and it would be really good if someone would work on him in a timely manner,"; Jay murmured as he stepped back into the apartment. Hailey had just come out of Ben's room because she was dealing with him.

In the meantime the little one had calmed down again, sat on the construction carpet and played with his action figures. Upton meant for her boyfriend to go into the living room so they could talk undisturbed. Tired, Jay drove through his face, shaking his head in disbelief.

"He's all messed up. And it's like I suspected. He witnessed it all. "

"He's traumatized, Jay. "

"I always thought survival guilt was something only adults had."

Sadly, Halstead looked at his girlfriend.

"You've done a good job talking to him,"; he tried to express his amazement, even though Hailey immediately saw through his undertone. They had a meaningful look at each other. Since they knew each other, they didn't need words to know what each other was thinking.

"Adam told you about my father,"; she said dryly, narrowing her eyes to slits, then nodding her head because she felt confirmed.

"This is typical. He just can't keep his mouth shut." " Jay started to hesitate.

"Not exactly. Everything in my head is just coming together to form a puzzle. "

"In what way?"; Jay didn't look her in the eye. This made it easier to bring out the words in question.

Hailey closed her eyes, then took a deep breath in and out. She knew she was walking on thin ice. Normally only a few people were allowed to get to her vulnerable side. Not least because she did not want to make herself vulnerable and had often experienced how her trust was abused. The fact that Adam had reported it to Jay confirmed her way of thinking.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I can wait,"; Jay told her sensitively, because he obviously realized what was going on inside her. Hesitantly she waved away.

"Maybe we should. At least you already know. " She cleared her throat, shrugged her shoulders as if she could cover up the matter.

"There's not much to say. My dad used to beat the crap out of my mom, my brothers and me. Mostly on weekends. In the morning he got drunk and when we were too loud, which children often are, the fuses blew. First he took it out on our mom and then he took it out on us. " Jay sent sympathetic looks at Hailey. The way she told about the matter did not fit the content of his sentence. Jay sensed that she was overplaying the facts with coolness, that deep down inside she felt very different.

"l'm over it. Don't you worry about it. He wasn't a bad person in general and it would be unfair to reduce him to that."

In disbelief, Halstead stared at his girlfriend. He guessed why she thought that. As a child you always remained dependent on your parents, no matter how old you were.

"Jay, do me a favour and don't try to feel sorry for me, yeah? My past does not determine my future."

"Are you still in touch with him?"; Hailey nodded, sadly smiling.

"Ben is lucky to have you for a father, and I think he knows that too. "

"Sometimes I'm not sure that's enough. I can't replace his mother. No matter what I try. I just feel that it's good for him to have you around, and I appreciate it. " Jay grabbed her hand with his healthy arm, which he squeezed.

"Hailey, I love you. I want to be with you. And not just on weekends, but permanently. "

She reflected his gaze again, came closer and sunk in a long kiss. Ben, who had stopped at door level, started to grin. His most favorite wish had finally come true. . .


	7. Chapter 7

**Folks, sorry for not posting in a long time, but I lost my pet and I was a mess for weeks.**

**Words can not describe how I loved this animal, so I wasn't able to update the story for a long time.**

**Anyway, I'm back now. I hope you will enjoy the story!**

**Have a good time and enjoy your time with your friends, family and your pets. Life is short sometimes ;(**

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"We handed the case over to colleagues,"; Voight announced on Jay's first day of work when he was back at headquarters.

"I want us to focus on the boy and the murder of his parents,"; Hank clarified and nodded to Hailey to provide Jay with the necessary information and clarify the current state of the investigation.

"The boy's name is Johnny. His parents are Meg and Arthur Lewis. The father worked as a detective at CPD on the Midway suburbs. " Jay's face darkened. He quickly combined what that meant, glancing at Hailey in a meaningful way.

"So a perp who's going after cops?"

Hailey sighed heavily, then moved her head forward.

"At least this fits the pattern of two other murders that have occurred in the last two months. "

The situation was interrupted by Trudy Platt, who entered the room. Her face alone didn't bode well and that's exactly what seemed to be true in the end.

"Jay, I just got a call. Ben's missing. His teacher looked for him everywhere, but he never returned to the classroom after the break."

Horrified Jay looked at Platt, then looked alarmed at Hailey and then at Voight who pointed his thumb outside.

"Drive on, Halstead,"; he told him, which he could not say twice. Pretty tense he climbed into his car and set off for Ben's school. Since the search there was unsuccessful, he went home, hoping that his son had gone there. Nervously he unlocked the apartment and ran into the living room.

"Ben?"; he shouted through the rooms, but received no response.

He only found what he was looking for in his bedroom. But not at all in the way he had hoped for. He had the feeling his heart stopped as he stared at his open safe. His gun was missing. Ben knew the code!

"Damn,"; Halstead whispered before rushing to the door and slamming it hastily as his brain combined the horror scenario.

For a moment he became dizzy. He couldn't believe what he had seen. Since his son was little, he had preached that his service weapon was taboo.

Actually he had judged Ben with his 9 years so mature that this topic did not need any discussion, but obviously he was wrong. Nervously, Jay let his eyes wander between the road and the windshield while he drove the car through the neighborhood. His fingers bobbed over the wheel in panic. What if he screwed up? What if he used that gun to hurt somebody? He couldn't think about it any further, because shortly before the school building Jay made a find.

With squealing tires, he drove into a parking bay, jumped out of the car. Ben, who was looking at his father with his eyes wide open, started running, but Halstead had caught up with him quickly. Frightened, the boy leaned with his back against the fence, trembling, and brought out the weapon which he let hang down. With eyes wide open, father and son stood at a certain distance from each other. Jay made a suggestive gesture.

"Give me the gun!"

When Ben did not move, he became increasingly louder.

"Give me the fucking gun!"; Jay screamed. Ben flinched, handed his father the pistol with both hands and looked at him guiltily. He breathed a sigh of relief and let the gun on his belt buckle disappear before rudely grabbing his son by the neck and steering him towards the car.

"You and I really need to talk. " That's all he said.

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"What the hell was that? Are you insane? You can't just steal my gun. This is a weapon. You kill people with it. "

Ben, who sat quietly next to his father, sobbed hit. Jay seldom raised his voice when it came to parenting, but that afternoon he nealry lost his mind. This time there was no comfort, no empathetic words and no pity. Halstead was angry and he made that clear to the younger one.

"I'm going to ask you for the last time and I'm going to be very calm. What was that about? Were you showing off for the other kids? Or do the same thing as the guy who shot your teachers and friends? Why did you take my gun?"

"No!" Horrified, Ben looked up, hit by the fact that Jay thought he was capable of something like this.

"Then what?"; He pushed around, cried bitterly before he started to talk in a fragile voice and looked at Jay with eyes wide open. At that moment he looked like his mother.

"I was just scared. I thought, if I brought these, nothing could happen to me."

Ben said that so honestly that Jay actually believed him.

"And how were you gonna do that? You can't even shoot?"

The boy didn't look at his father, kept silent.

"It's a weapon that can hurt people badly. What you did today is very dangerous and I am extremely disappointed in you. I thought you were much more intelligent. " The 9 year old nodded understandingly.

"It's okay that you're scared and completely understandable after what happened. But this is not the way. And you know it. You could have put other people in danger. Not just yourself. Not to mention, you can't just skip school Your teachers were worried. " Unhappily Ben looked at his father, but said nothing.

"We'll talk it over with Dr. Charles and until then, you're grounded. No TV, no Playstation. So you can think about what you've done. "

Ben chose to remain silent. Not a word passed his lips. Not when Jay started the engine and not when they came back home.

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"Jay, what happened? Talk to me?"; Incredulous, Halstead shook his head and squinted towards the children's room where Ben was lying in bed. He then closed the door to the living room so that he could talk to Hailey undisturbed.

"I can't believe what he did today. " Stunned, Halstead shook his head and looked at his girlfriend in shock.

"Ben ran away from school and stole my gun from the safe. I just caught him on the street. "

"What?"; Hailey looked no less shocked.

"He says he was just scared, but I've never seen him like that before. I thought I could trust him.

"Wow."

"I didn't raise him like that, Hailey. "

"What are you gonna do now?"

"I have an appointment with Dr. Charles the day after tomorrow with Ben. " Hailey, who clearly saw how much the matter affected her friend, reached for his hand.

"Hey, this is not your fault. He's just having an extreme reaction to what's happened lately. " Skeptically Jay looked at his girlfriend.

"Maybe, but I don't know if you can blame it all on that. Since he was little, I taught him that my gun was off limits. That you can do a lot of damage with this. I told him about Afghanistan, about how I lost friends there. He's not 5 years old anymore. He can certainly assess the consequences. "

"You want me to talk to him?"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea. " Hailey walked away from Jay, looking at him sadly.

"You want to hear what I think?"; Jay nodded.

"He's traumatized. " Jay wanted to deny it immediately, but Hailey got there first, put his finger on his lips.

"Now you let me finish. I would like to remind you briefly of how you used to react before you had been in therapy. You pulled your service weapon on me. You've been drifting for a while. "

He tried to open his mouth, but she shook her head.

"No, Jay. Don't deny it now. Deep down you know that there is no normal reaction to what he has experienced in the last 3 weeks. Sometimes we just can't see it anymore because we're brutalized by our job. " Halstead closed his eyes and said nothing back. He spread his arms and leaned against Hailey, seeking protection. After both had enjoyed some of the time together, he crept into the children's room and sat down at the edge of his son's bed.

Ben had fallen asleep in the meantime and remained in his blanket with his eyes closed. Thoughtfully, Halstead looked at the 9-year-old, then lovingly ran his hand back over his cheek before pulling it back and looking at him with concern. Hailey watched the scene from the doorway as she smiled sadly. . .


End file.
